Are Pastels good for glandular fever?

So now I'm sitting on the stoep outside doing some work on my laptop (website design) while my glan-man is sitting next to me QUIETLY - which is such a beautiful noise - I have forgotten how it sounds after the past few days of crying and moaning - shame poor guy, he's been really sick!  Anyway, was just thinking to myself, how desperate I am for quiet that I've just watched him take all my pastels out their ziplock back and bite the ends off.  He has all sorts of colourful bits coming out of his mouth, along with the drool - but it's keeping him quiet - so in my opinion pastels are very good for glandular fever hee hee

Last night was a better night I think I slept for more the 40 minutes like the previous evening - The joys of parenting! aaaannnnddd Tonight is Friday and my dear husband is not working tomorrow - soooo he said he'd see to Jethro tonight - YAY Sleep - I feel like I have a newborn again!

Anyway, my house is a mess (again) but I've had a deadline for work and a very sick kid and very unsupervised daughters who have managed to wreck the place - I do however take responsibility for the kitchen and my unmade bed!

So the choice is now - do I hide (once again) in cyberspace or do I clean - - - - DECISION MADE:

TOMORROW IS SATURDAY - Why do today that which you can do tomorrow! Hee hee

Ok got to rescue the dvd player from the glan-man!

Oh the woes...

I'm lying in my son's bed with him, he is sick with glandular fever - so cross it won't even get a capital letter - take that!  Oh how I wish there was a magic pill that makes it all better!

He's wriggled his way all around this bed, he now has his bum facing me, while lying on his tummy.  He was snuggled in under my arm...
I feel tired, emotionally drained, irritated and worried all at the same time...

I wish it wasn't like it is right now..

How do you plead?

I think its amazing how many mothers are riddle with guilt (me included), it's like we have an invisible task master on our backs beating us to be better.  Now as I sit here, hearing the shrieks and screams from the dining room as my children (well the girls because the little boy is freaking me out and won't eat) are eating lunch - obviously there are other shenanigans going on, besides lunch eating -  now there's banging and giggling.... brb


Nothing to worry about, my fussy 6 year old is laughing and shrieking at the four year old, who is dipping her naartjie segment into her yoghurt - she can't believe what she is seeing, it's like the grossest thing on this planet..?? and obviously gross = shriek in little girl language.

Guilt - I feel guilty right now actually, while they have a moderately healthy lunch, fruit, yoghurt and some toast, I sit here dunking one of their Oreo's into my coffee - which doesn't seem that bad - except it's my third one, talking of thirds, I think I've polished off a third of those biscuits all to myself. 

I think there is something in the Bible about people being so far gone their conscience is seared - I'm having another Oreo and the guilt is fading fast, clearly I won't be fading away at the rate I'm going!

Ok Serious now, how much is enough?  and do we want to do just enough?  I certainly don't, I want to be a great mom with great kids?  But what is the criteria, are their any books available telling us moms what greatness actually is and exactly how to achieve it - NO! There are people's opinions and different schools of thought, but nothing concrete!  If only each kid came with a manual of how to work it properly, get the best out of it and off course a money back guarantee hee hee - but their aint! 

My theory is this - its a perpetual cycle, and only once my children have children of their own will I be able to see if I did a good enough job, it's like doing a 25 year assignment and waiting 5 years for your result - if all goes according to plan! :) 

And what happens if it turns out you did a crap job - a little too late don't you think!! Being a parent in this day and age is very tricky - I say this day and age, because when I was little my mom wasn't reading parenting self help books, it was more like Lord of the Rings or some other hippie book.  Kids were far out man, what a gas!  Remember just sleeping in the back seat of the car, out on the road, when the parents/parent were at a rip roaring house party, filled with 70's vibes?  or was that just me?  Or what about them just letting us play in the bush in our forts till 7pm and then calling us and hoping we came in for supper... at least I hope they hoped!  Now days, everyone is into being a good parent (well everyone I know) there is so much pressure to do it right.  There is no letting your kid sleep in the car as they may suffer rejection or become afraid not to mention the threat of abduction and crime these days.  What about the no smacking thing, it's abuse!  I could have used that when I was a kid - Suzie the Stick worked over time on this behind!!

There are so many differing views about parenting!  When Leila my eldest was a little baby I was so scared to spoil her that I never rocked her or snuggled her really, and now she is the most unaffectionate of all my kids (could be temprement as I'm quite similar), but what if it's not I've ruined my kid because a book told me not to snuggle her!!! How difficult is this parenting.  Lets not even get into middle child syndrome - when did that concept originate anyway?  I'll google it...

"birth order and how it influences a childs' personality was first looked at by Alfred Adler (1870-1937), an Austrian psychiatrist."

Great well that blows my theory I guess!  Seems like throughout the generations parents have found it difficult and pressurised to be good parents (how would I know I've only been alive for 33 years!! :)

At least we're not alone, at least we have each other, other moms to drink wine with and console each other that we are doing a good job and that even though we feel guilty about what we are not or are doing, we are the best moms our kids could have, they are OUR flesh and blood with our DNA and for any mom who's adopted a child, you haven't just adopted a child, you've saved a child and you're probably doing a better job then any orphanage would have!

So what to do? Pay attention to each child, get to know them, listen to them, interact with them and love them.  Teach them the truth, show them the ropes, explain or let them feel consequences, save them from danger, but let them feel the pinch of bad choices, with a shoulder for them to cry on.  Love them unconditionally, accept them without trying to make them into what you thought they were going to be.  Be there for them, help them where they're weak, praise their strengths.  Encourage them to choose good friends, to work hard and to be caring and loving to others.  Show them the world and how it's suffering, show them what they have to be grateful for.  Spoil them with affection and not with stuff, provide for their needs and teach them how to do the same when they're older.  Show them how to make food, fold clothes, clean the house - then sit back and enjoy the break when they ask you to lift your feet while they're sweeping hee hee

The Un-Supermom Over and Out

Welcome to my blog

Due to the influence of a very sweet - no sweet is not the word, she doesn't come across sweet, but I know she's sweet inside.  When you meet her for the first time you would probably describe her as feisty.. so due to my young feisty friend's influence I have started my own blog.  Her blog is amazing, I love it - funny and real - letterstocherry.blogspot.com.  Anyway, it's because of her that I've decided to write my own blog - but - big BUT, it's not going to be about fashion and wonderful adventures that young single girls get to have.  My blog is about Motherhood, look don't get me wrong, I don't hate being a mom and I don't wish I was a young single girl again (ok sometimes I do), it's just that my life is a little different - ok a lot different to a young single funky fashionable blogger!

Different, but by no means boring.  Right now I'm trying to hide in cyberspace while I have one 6 year old playing Barbies in her room, a four year old watching AVATAR (??) She loves it, and the baby boy (18 months) who's driven me dilly the last 24 hours - finally asleep for his morning nap.

My house is a mess, I have a weekend full of visitors coming up and there is washing on the diningroom table, my bed is half made, at least the dishwasher is on, but there are still clothes in the tumble dryer and here I sit BLOGGING!!

I figure I can get the little mugwums to help me clean just now, but right now to preserve my sanity I'm going to blow off some internal steam before I explode!

I love being a mom so much, so totally rewarding - ok totally should not have made it into that sentence, it's somewhat rewarding some of the time!  This is just my selfishness talking, I would never ever give up my kids for anything, they are my life.  I love them involuntary - by that I mean, we breathe without thinking, I love them without thinking.  So whatever I blog about them or my life, it's never that I don't love them or wish I had a different life, it's just an online journal to help me through the day!

I went to see South Africa's very own "SuperGranny" the other night, was nice to hear her take on things and was very amusing hearing some of the stories people were telling in order to ask her a question... I figure my kids are not that bad then!  But I realised I feel like a child raising children, I sometimes feel so out of my depth.  It's no small task having kids to take care of, young people who will grow up to be adults one day and my task is to make sure they are well adapted - hell - I don't think I'm well adapted, it's like I'm learning as I'm teaching - it's hectic!  So I call myself the Un-Supermom - because in my mind a supermom is someone who has it all together, has life under control and is cruising looking for some poor soul to rescue from the depths of a kid pile on.

I couldn't think of anything worse, I barely make it out of my kid pile on's every evening - you know what I mean hey... kid pile on: - I typed a whole example but decided to delete it due to the very nature of the beast hee hee - I don't want to be too real that I become responsible for people not having kids... although we are over populated already ;) in short a kid pile on is normally in the late afternoon, when you need to get them bathed, fed and in bed, while making supper, tidying up and generally putting out little proverbial fires that are inevitable (kids fighting, baby trying to pull the coffee machine off the counter etc etc) They are just in your face, they want to help you cook, or want you to read a story while you are rolling out the dough for the tortillas you're making etc.  It's just full on, but by 8:00pm you've forgotten because they look like little angels fast asleep, like they come straight from heaven and you got to bed peaceful and fulfilled (and fooled) because when you get woken up early in the morning with "mom I'm hungry" "waaa waaa" "I don't want to" "It's too cold" blah blah blah - you remember that kid pile on's can happen anytime, anyplace!

But then you get your children coming up to you and with sparkly eyes telling you "I love you mommy, you're the best mommy in the world", your heart melts and you know that being a mom is what you are called to be and nothing and nobody can take that away from you..

Women are by nature Nurturing beings, we want to look after and love.  We want to sort out and keep organised.  We want to help.  Well I do at least... so being a mom, even with it's hard times is wonderful.  Every job has a downside.  Look at the gynae's - in fact I asked my gynae once (before he'd gone to work on me) why he decided to be a gynae - why out of all the jobs to choose did he choose this one (I had quite a bit of attitude too) but he took it gracefully and explained that he loved the obstetrics and he pointed out that every job has a downside - in this case - pap smears! :)

Anyway, hubby's home, need to look busy
Chat Soon
The Un-Supermom! (ps didn't have time to spell check - hope it makes sense too)